Olivia Wilde Goes Topless

Here is a still of Olivia Wilde smoking a cigarette topless. You care because it helps you imagine what it’d be like if you just gave her multiple orgasms and she’s now enjoying sucking back on a post-coital smoke and bantering on about some cutsie pillow-talk because she’s still reeling from the afterglow.

I care because I figure that if I ever met her, I could point out how paradoxical it is that she’ll go topless on the big screen in front of millions, but never in public or for a private audience, and that she shouldn’t let society commodify her sexuality that way, and then maybe I could convince her to take off her top for herself (in front of me) because, after all, it’s not like she has anything I don’t or haven’t seen already, anyway.

Source: TaxiDriverMovie.com

Via TaxiDriverMovie.com.

Cruella de Vil

This is a picture of a topless chick in high heels and hot shorts walking two dalmatians at a time. You care because the sight of a nearly nude woman dominating two lower beasts excites you on a primal level that appeals to some of your deepest, most carnal desires. I care because any Barbie Doll who can handle two bitches at a time has to have a little bit more to her than just a long pair of legs and good taste in accessories.

Source: Ridiculously Beautiful

Via Ridiculously Beautiful.

Kelly Rowland Topless

This is a picture of Kelly Rowland getting naked to promote her new album.

Source: PopOnThePop.com

You care because whenever a girl uses sex to get something out of you, it helps you believe that one of the things she wants is sex and all you have to do is give her a few other things and slowly work your way towards having her touch your callused, friction burned member.

I care because I have this thing for black chicks that helps me feel better about being a privileged white girl, and I like to think that if I ever met her (or Rihanna) I could play the whole lesbian marginalization card and we could commiserate over a couple G-and-Ts and I could convince her that seeding a few rumours about her being bicurious might help the whole sex-sells angle she’s taking with marketing her music.

Pics via Pop on the Pop.

Baby got Back

Scarlett Johansson Nip Slip

This is a picture of Scarlett Johansson showing a bit of nipple.

Source: Biologically Beautiful

You care because you figure if someone that beautiful and famous is still willing to show a bit of nipple for some extra attention, then she must have some self-validation issues meaning that if you ever did run into her at a party you crashed or in a Vegas elevator, and her bodyguards didn’t immediately stomp you, you might actually have a chance of talking your way between those pouty lips by vascillating between being a complete dick (but the funny kind) and nice guy who only really ever acts out (as a dick) because he’s some kind of tortured genius who just needs a hug.

I care because it’s a picture of Scarlett Johansson’s nipples, and she seems to be looking right at me, and form what I’ve heard, she can be rather experimental, and that makes me thing that maybe, just maybe, this photo here is an experiment to see if she can attract any lesbians who are sufficiently charming and witty to lure her onto the other side of the fence, if only for one night. But alas…

Via Biologically Beautiful.

Tattoo Tuesday

This is a picture of a young, cute, topless girl with a lot of tattoos.

Source: Ridiculously Beautiful

You care because you believe that cute girls with a lot of ink who pose topless have relatively low self-esteem and seek validation enough that you might be able to talk your way in there if you’re really nice to her half of the time and complete dick the other half of the time.

I care because girls who have low self-esteem and seek validation will take it wherever they can find it and can usually be talked into trying new things or even trying old things again on the hope that maybe this time will be better.

Via Ridiculously Beautiful.