Olivia Wilde Goes Topless

Here is a still of Olivia Wilde smoking a cigarette topless. You care because it helps you imagine what it’d be like if you just gave her multiple orgasms and she’s now enjoying sucking back on a post-coital smoke and bantering on about some cutsie pillow-talk because she’s still reeling from the afterglow.

I care because I figure that if I ever met her, I could point out how paradoxical it is that she’ll go topless on the big screen in front of millions, but never in public or for a private audience, and that she shouldn’t let society commodify her sexuality that way, and then maybe I could convince her to take off her top for herself (in front of me) because, after all, it’s not like she has anything I don’t or haven’t seen already, anyway.

Source: TaxiDriverMovie.com

Via TaxiDriverMovie.com.

Cruella de Vil

This is a picture of a topless chick in high heels and hot shorts walking two dalmatians at a time. You care because the sight of a nearly nude woman dominating two lower beasts excites you on a primal level that appeals to some of your deepest, most carnal desires. I care because any Barbie Doll who can handle two bitches at a time has to have a little bit more to her than just a long pair of legs and good taste in accessories.

Source: Ridiculously Beautiful

Via Ridiculously Beautiful.

The Milk Maid

This is a picture of a chick in a bathtub full of milk with only her boobies showing. You care for the obvious oedipal reasons that stem from you being breast fed too long or not at all. I care because, as much as it’s interesting to see a couple of tits floating in a pool of milk, it’s even more interesting how some explicitly non-sexual byproduct of an overly sexualized organ (boobs) is being using to tease the mind into imagining what lurks beneath those murky waters — even if you’d have to wipe her down before being able to do anything with her.

Source: Ridiculously Beautiful