This is a photo of a topless chick drinking a beer and posing for the camera with “New York is a friendly town” scrawled across her chest. You care because the can of Budweiser makes you think that she’s your kind of girl, and the snuff-porn lighting makes you think that this is gonna go your way. I care because it reminds me of early American Apparel ads, when Dov Charney first started ripping off Terry Richardson, but hadn’t figured out the whole lighting thing yet.
This is a picture of some cute chick in an American Apparel t-shirt holding up a zinger of a placard at a pro gay marriage rally. You care because she reminds you of how much less of a man you are than cute lesbian protestors, which makes the idea of being worthless and deserving of hard and brutal domination and punishment from a girl so much smaller, frailer, and cuter than you are really turn you on. I care because, suddenly, girls that cute and witty make me wanna reconsider my stance on lifelong commitment marriage.
This is a picture of a topless chick in high heels and hot shorts walking two dalmatians at a time. You care because the sight of a nearly nude woman dominating two lower beasts excites you on a primal level that appeals to some of your deepest, most carnal desires. I care because any Barbie Doll who can handle two bitches at a time has to have a little bit more to her than just a long pair of legs and good taste in accessories.
This is a picture of a girl licking the face of some New York hipster.
You care because you figure that if she’ll lick the face of a some sweaty hipster with a mustache like Wario, then maybe you’re not wasting your time out on the dance floor, after all.
I care because if she’ll lap the pungent, manly, bar sweat from the face of a ginger-beard, then she might be open to trying salinous body fluids form other places where the ginger bush blooms.
Via Nicky Digital.
This is a picture that looks like an American Apparel ad of a girl bent over in front of the camera.
You care because seeing a girl dressed in casual, cotton clothing bent over for the camera makes you think that American Apparel models don’t exist only in an alternate, advertising universe where you encounter sex mostly when someone is trying to sell you something you don’t need.
I care because there something about charcoal tights against a backdrop of washed out daylight reminds me that divine inspiration can exist even in the most casual of outfits — especially when the complexion and eye make-up are just right.
This is a picture of the English model Rosie Huntington Whiteley eating peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon.
You care because it’s a girl wrapping her lips around something and enjoying it. I care because it’s a Freudian slip when a girl wears fur and while finding enjoyment in something that involves using her tongue so thoroughly.
This is a picture of the model Riley Keough at Terry Richardson’s studio.
You care because because girls with boy haircuts and boy names seem like they know exactly what to do with you, and that it’ll be, they won’t tell anyone how many fingers they put in you.
I care because girls with Clockwork Orange eyeliner and greaser haircuts don’t take shit from nobody, and they’ll tell you exactly what they want, how want it, and will be done with you once they get it.
Via Terry’s Diary.
This is a picture of a hipster girls with bangs, a nose ring, and a scarf wearing a batman t-shirt.
You care because it’s a picture of a girl in a comic book t-shirt staring right into the camera feels like eye-contact to you, making you think that you might’ve just found your soul-mate on the world wide interwebs, and now all you have to do is find a way to reach out to her in a way that won’t creep her out like you did when that popular girl from back in high school recently added you on Facebook.
I care because girls with bangs and a nose ring who match their lipstick to their scarf make the kind of friends and lovers that will somehow turn you into a matching accessory whenever they go out with you in public with you.
This is a picture of a (headless) woman with her head in the oven.
You care because it reminds you of the days when men were men, and women were pretty little things who knew their place and how to make their men happy by making them feel strong and empowered, and less like little boys.
I care because the stylist on this shoot had an appreciation for that kind of vintage mother figure who will lure you to her bed where she can tuck you in for the night and take care of you. I hate to admit it, but Freud had a point some of the time…
This is a arrow print tank-top and pantie set that I found on Etsy.
You care because it’s a picture of a young, tattooed girl in nothing but cotton undergarments which makes your Pocahontas fantasy seem that much more modern, realistic and accessible — you sick fuck.
I care because the un-hemmed shoulders on the tank and the overall color palette lend it an element of authenticity that makes me want to order it for my girlfriend and spend Christmas morning playing Cowgirls and Indians with her.